Do you want to see something really scary ? # 2 Terror TV

I'm a terror for a Public Information Film, and this seasonally shadowy short film applies the classic codes and conventions of any Hammer or Amicus production....

A Donald Pleasance voice over.

Set dressed with convincing contemporary costumes (for the time) and locations.

An other-worldy, wraith-in-rags visitor - death in the form of 'The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water' (a proto Dark Rider) tempting you to tumble.

A fist-shaking 'I'll be back' coda.

They really don't make 'em like this anymore.

Dark And Lonely Water


Also well worth a watch are almost any of Brian Clemens 'Thriller' series (with it's spooky tooting flute theme), almost all episodes have the intimacy of a radio play or theatrical performance - with the close crop shots and stripping out of any unnecessary incidental music all adding to the in-the-room experience

'Possesion', 'I'm The Girl He Wants To Kill' and 'One Deadly Owner' are must see All Hallows TV

'One Deadly Owner' intro


And I think my MP3 player may be psychic. Literally, as soon as I'd thought I really must find some spooky tunes this, this and Marsh Hunt's - '(Oh, No! Not) The Beast Day' popped into play.

Brrrrr..

I Can’t Stand Up For Falling Down

When was the last time you fell over in public?

Mine was last Friday. But this was no slight slip that could be stopped with a steadying hand, or by dropping down into a one kneed proposal pose. No,no, no. This was a dignity free, slapstick acrobatic, both legs up in the air, bowling ball roll (sideways too).

I’d only bent down to pick up a shoe, flung from the baby buggy of the woman walking in front of me, but a medley of slippery soles, being a touch off balance with a bundle of boxes from Post Office and a robust forward thrust as I bent down to grab the shoe had me upended and rolling and tumbling like a wheel from a cartoon car crash. And, in front of a packed gallery of three - yes three - heaving bus stops. I even heard an offstage gasp from the old couple behind me.

Knowing how much entertainment gold there is in watching someone have a wobbler, how do you recover from a trauma like this? There’s only one way. Reach for your mobile phone, and role play receiving a call (or making a blame and claim call) at the precise moment you’ve recovered with a flourish and are back on steady legs. You can even lend a bit of weighty embellishment to the performance by frowning like a champ and giving the phone a few theatrical “what’s happened to the reception ?” glares until you’re safely out of sight.

'The Man Trap' - A Public Information Film on the perils of polished floors.



Freeze framed at the hand to mouth reaction moment, as any later would see Mum and daughter fold like falling trees, giggling themselves silly as Dad goes bouncing down the hall like Tigger.

Reasons to be Cheerful Pt. 1 - Public Information Films

Do they still make Public Information Films? I don't think I've ever seen a contemporary 'Take Care' TV shortie. The 'Charlie Says' DVD released a few years ago, collected the best of the Sixties and Seventies P.I films and is an absolute joy packed with educational gems from end to end. Yes, there's all the textbook safety subjects...

Crossing the Road - Green Cross Code and The Tufty Club,

Swimming - Rolf Harris'Get in the Swim' and 'Meet Dave'

Driving - Think Once. Think Twice. Think Bike and 'Clunk Click'.

But the real revelation is the volume (over 150 on Vol. 1 alone), and depth ( chip pans, polystyrene ceiling tiles, and overly polished floors) of Health and Safety issues spoon fed to the public. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking these films, we could probably do with more of these punchy numbers today - mobile phones, dangerous dogs and stodge diets for starters.

Set dressed for earthy authenticity (apart from a few of the scenarios) these thumbnails capture an accurate snapshot of Seventies lifestyle and deliver all the detail lacking from the over dressed grotesques in shows like 'Life on Mars' etc..
Treat yourself and have a peep at Blunders family in 'Meet the Blunders' -
I Love the moment they've chosen to freeze frame at the end..

There's Mr Blunders



There's Mrs blunders and there's Billy Blunders

The 'Charlie Says' special edition containing Vol 1 and 2 is available from Amazon for the crazy price of £6.97 (bizarrely Volume 1 and 2 are individually priced at around £10)

If you're in the mood for more retromaniac classics have a wander over Planet Mondo for some Charity Shop sounds including Joe Loss and Manuel and The Music of The Mountains'