Monday, October 8, 2007

Tantrum TV


There’s something wrong with my Television. Every time I turn it on there’s screamers on the screen.

Idiots, nitwits and know nothings invading my space. The sort of people I’d emigrate to avoid are being beamed into my house in digital definition and surround sound. Seven nights a week on all channels.

At a time when viewing figures have slumped, which empty headed executive thought Punch and Judy programming would get bum's back on seats?

Yes, that’s it - exactly what we fancy watching to wind down. Shouty grief girls and sweary ASBO blokes stomping about, 'effing and jeffing' as the soon as the clock strikes nine. Full grown adults having full blown teenage scream ups and being told how to cook, clean and dress themselves. Parents unable to control their children are being sent to the naughty step. It's either that or fame craving desperadoes and ex celeb’s in meltdown.

I don't know who looks more tragic in these TV disaster movie? The celeb’s desperate to walk the plank or programmers rubbing raw the bottom of the barrels.

The Big brother/I'm A Celeb/One Flew Over The Cuckoos nest format is an experiment that can only work once. It’s not repeat viewing. Second time around it’s all festival freaks gurning for the camera and playing to the gallery . Dumbo's and bimbo's that make Jade Goody look like Germaine Geer - watching walk out's, storm offs and showdowns over shopping lists is about as entertaining as watching germs under a microscope

Who needs tantrum TV. Not Me.
No, I won’t press the red button for more information thanks. I’ve seen all I need to know. I’ll press the off button and go and do something less boring instead.

It wasn't that long ago people were moaning about repeats clogging up the schedules like cholesterol. I’d welcome them back, or the test card, pages from Ceefax. Anything!

It wasn't always this awful. The truth is out there - it’s called YouTube

4 comments:

Axe Victim said...

Television? It's the idiots lantern that's fer sho! Play your guitar instead Mondo baby. I think it was Springsteen that coined the phrase "57 channels and northing's on." How true.

Planet Mondo said...

Oh it's hopeless I think The Damned did a song along the same lines 'Idiot Box, and that was 30 years ago when it wasn't too bad.

Good Idea about the g'tr - another excuse to get in some fretboard meltdown

Piley said...

you nailed it PM. Anything on in the mornings is made exclusively for chavs, and so are all the ads inbetween "consolidate your loans" "been a dopey bastard and fallen over? want to claim some money?" Grrr

Reality tv is everywhere, but what about all those documentaries that are just reality tv dressed up? celebs learning to play a banjo or overcome their fear of water or somethin? toss.

I remember when British TV was something looked up at all over the world, and the US tv was a laughing stock. Today US tv looks pretty good...

Planet Mondo said...

Exactly! P - what was once a 1 hour 'Cutting Edge' Doc on Channe; 4 is now a 6 part serial on any channel and repeated on + 1. Great.

And that's it reality TV isn't reality at all. It's about gump's and chump's making sure the camera's on them on all the time.