Vinyl Countdown

It's pink vinyl and on Chrysalis - any ideas?

So how's your summer been going? Mine's been spent rediscovering the joys of vinyl. Thanks to a few sipping and spinning sessions in Coops garden, I've been inspired to pick up a portable turntable with built in speaker and handy USB connection for ripping to MP3. So the singles box has been collected from the loft, the cobwebbed albums dusted off and fired up at 33 rpm. Jazz sounds fab, George Melly's Nuts has been on almost perma-play, as has Sergio Mendes & The New Brazil 77 LP. Seven inch singles are the perfect pop format, with ideas and inventiveness at every level, and colored vinyl looks better than ever..

There really is simply nothing as soothing as some garden based sitting and spinning on a summers evening. I'd forgotten how pleasing the ritual of putting on a seven inch single is - combine it with 'lucky dipping': take a box of singles and what gets pulled is what gets played, and you've got perfect evening's entertainment.

Bargains bagged have been the Les Humphries Singers - Mexico for 50p, and this little haul from Spitalfields Market - a reggae cover of How Deep Is Your Love on 7", Pete Townshend's first solo album and three latin funk comps. Thirteen nuggets the lot - 'mazing.

So what's on the shopping list..George Melly Son Of Nuts, Head Hands and Feet Warming Up The Band (featuring an early doors Albert Lee and Chas & Dave). The Faces Maybe I'm Amazed (the studio version was a single only release).

Oh - and can anyone suggest a 'violet' 7" single to complete my vinyl rainbow (didn't Squeeze have one)

Red - The Damned - Love Song
Orange - UK Subs - Party In Paris
Yellow - The Dickies - Banana Splits
Green - UK Subs - She's Not There
Blue - UK Subs - Tomorrow's Girls
Indigo - ELO - Sweet Talking Woman

Last night's listening

Albums and singles as school prizes?

How many more times is Mike Oldfield planning to re-release and rework T-Bells

Do schools still do that anymore - give albums or singles as awards or rewards? I'd be decked if they did. Perhaps a voucher at a stretch. It's a much safer bet.

Intermittently at our school assemblies, some senior teacher would call to the podium, a star pupil who'd excelled at sport, come first in a competition or reached an outstanding level of somethingorother (it's telling that I've forgotten the categories, yet have total recall of the prizes). The student would bound to the stage like a spring lamb ready to be rewarded, but slump away like a crushed gump after receiving in recognition of their glowing over- achievements and reflected credit to the school - and these were actual prizes - Tubular Bells (for someone aged 12 in 1977?!?) and a few months later Matchstalk Men & Matchstalk Cats & Dogs (and not even the picture sleeve)..

Whoever came up with this stunt shot themselves in both feet with a double no-incentive whammy - lacking any appeal for either the heavy-hitting swots and sportsmen, or the fair-to-middling 'must try harders' like myself..

Faking It

Where are my headphones I asked?
You can track your order online - they replied
See tracking order above for details - thanks for that then!

As I've probably mentioned before I'm a bugger for a bargain - charity shops (mainly books), T K Maxx (best buy to date a leather jacket reduced from £450 to £47) and of course the online goldmine that is eBay.

A couple of years back I took a bid-based punt on two polo shirts - a Fred Perry and a Penguin 'Earl' - both of which were listed with crazy cheap 'Buy Now' prices. When they finally arrived from the far east, the trademark penguin logo had more lean than the Tower of Pizza, and the Fred Perry, despite making a claim of 100% cotton, crackled like a static storm everytime it was removed.

But, I bounced back and tried a couple more bargain buys (from other 'Bayers this time, and still a third of the high street price). Perfect. Two years on and these clone-clothes are washing and wearing like a dream. Since then I've knowingly bought Converse, a Limited Edition Bathing Ape edition Casio G-Shock watch and reproduction Seditionaries t-shirts. All of which are hooky but authentic enough to be believable and and well made enough to be durable (unlike the first two fake-offs).

However, I am a low-level fuss pot about sound quality, and recently snapped up a pair of Sennheiser PX200 headphones listed on eBay at half the RRP. The delivery seemed to be taking longer than expected, so a quick peep of the sellers feedback rating revealed a history of fakery, neutral feedback and partial refunds. Whoops.

I'll live with a fake that looks and wears like the real thing, but can knock-off headphones actually simulate the sound fidelity of real deal Sennheisers or will it just be dodgy market electronics re-badged and branded as something superior?

I'll let you know if they ever arrive..

Last of the Indie Vid Shops

For all the justified mumbles, grumbles and moans regarding the decline of local record shops - it's easy to overlook the disappearance of another small scale independent entertainment outlet. Video rental shops. The last of the indie vid's in our area shut up shop a couple of weeks ago, and until the closed sign was finally flipped forever it maintained all the required trappings and trimmings of a generic local video shop

The 'card-full-o'-signatures' loaner system (was there ever a name for that?)

A sticker claiming '6 (or 8) copies available' on recent releases - although all 6(or 8)copies were rarely available.

Poster splattered walls and windows.

Oddbod titles with one solo signature on the rental card 'Dunstan Checks In'

Faded Copies of Donnie Brasco or Devil's Advocate for sale (£5)in the ex-rentals bin

So are there any still standing near you, and what are the names please? Or do you have any cherished memories from the eighties rental boom and beyond (£50 deposit and £1 a night hire) when video shops spread across the UK faster than swine flu.

A couple video-rewinds of mine are...

The first wave saturation of video renters and bandwagon riders. Record shops, garages even a hardware shop (yes I was a member) were lending from their extensive overnight libraries.

In the splatter-friendly pre-certification days, a film chosen as suitable viewing for a former girlfriend and myself by her parents (while they went out for an evening) was the full strength, unedited version of 'Cannibal Holocaust'!?!?

Who Chooses The Music For Suburban Swinger Parties

Don't panic - I'm not thinking of throwing or going to some swinging affair. Although right now somewhere, someone (possibly even, someone you know ) will be planning and prepping a home-counties communal love-in this weekend. And like any other suburban do, there must be some pre-party production and a tick list of sorts

RSVPs
Drinks/nibbles to be bought (spicy must be off the menu)
Rearranging furniture
Tweaking the lighting
Choosing the music
Bowls for peanuts and car keys

So do they add some musical colour and atmos' at these low-key local get-it-togethers? Is there a carefully picked playlist of smoochy tunes perhaps titled 'Songs For Swinging Lovers'. You couldn't risk a random shuffle could you (behave - I mean on the iPod) suppose a passion killer from the collection boomed into view - Amazing Grace, Ace Of Spades or Grandad We Love You ..

On arrival is there the usual party pre-amble - "How's the job, any holidays planned" etc..and who gives the skirts-up/trousers-down signal. Surely the neighbours must rumble that something's ahoy as car-loads of unknown middle aged meddlers start pinching all the parking spaces..

It goes on everywhere you know - there's even visual evidence of local interest activties happening in my hometown and it's surrounding suburbs

Barge Gladys home to the family friendy Benfleet Yacht Club was notoriously outed in the Sunday papers some years back as a location for the am-cam movie 'Kym's Sea Shanty'.

A regular reader of this blog once lent me 'Benfleet a-Go-Go' as they named it. A sort of home made have-it-away-day filmed on the Fenchurch Street to Southend line one Sunday afternoon, a hand held not-so-steadycam film of two couples making their own in-carriage entertainment .

Even folksy Old Leigh isn't safe - the local nature reserve Two Tree Island is a magnet for dog walkers by day but doggers by night

So consider this - amongst your network of friends - work, social or virtual who would you ring as the swinger of the scene. Think of it as kinky Cluedo (Lewdo - perhaps) who is the Professor Plum or Miss Scarlet? Is that a lead pipe in his pocket or is he just pleased to see her, and what caper are they hoping to carry off in the study this weekend?

Or if you are someone hosting a communal cosy-up over the bank holiday, help yourself to this and think if it as something for the weekend. A very cheeky compilation titled 'I'm Not Feeling Myself Tonight'- described as...

"From under the counter, Jigoku's Lovely Jon and Quiet Village's Joel Martin present this very rude, XXX rated (and as the title suggests, a very tongue-in-cheek) limited edition mix. Expect to hear sleazy disco, dirty funk, glam rock and punk interspersed with snippets of dialogue from blue movies, 70's jazzmag flexidiscs, and more. Distinctly British and distinctly 70s, this filthy little party mix is brimming with low-budget sleaze - utterly explicit and rather politically incorrect."