Friday, November 16, 2007

Bad Book Club Pt 1 -A Londoner's Diary

The London paper the Evening Standard has a free magazine every Friday 'ES'.

Typically the cover splash features ‘next big things’ (actors and/or models) that I've never heard of and never seem to go anywhere. Inside it's a medley of serious faced suity types and their shiny new projects, aristocratic inheritance scandals about high society swizzery and who ended up with all Lord Toffingham’s lolly. Oh, and a designer. But the travel pages are great.

However, the thing that really makes me grind my teeth to dental powder is one full page of full on smuggery bringing light to the lives of lowly folk - called

‘A Londoner's Diary’

It’s usually written by the sort of quack head Notting Hill ninny you’d dread being sat next to anywhere (apart from when it’s Alex James). In which the guest gabbler of the week swishes through a list of society lunches, showbiz launches, 'charidee'work and country weekends throwing celebrity names around like someone feeding handfuls of corn to the feral pigeons

The political diarists are even more deeply dire, full of quizzical eyes, knowing nods and Westminster(yawns)yarns that turn you grey faced, glazed and bored to the very core.

It’s these sort of metro trendies and droning minnies that give southerners a bad name. You could argue - why read it, if its so bad? But that's the thing - it is so bad! I have to check in to see if it’s still maintaining it's quota of queasy cheese.

I don't care who’s appearing this week (apart from if it's Alex James) they can take their dreary diary and smugger off.


Clair said...

It's almost like ES magazine is saying to the average reader 'Put me down, you grubby little oik! How dare you think you're good enough to read me?'. You'd think Standard readers were all Lord Snooties, instead of, by and large, rather ordinary people going back to their Barratt homes at night by reading ES, wouldn't you?

Planet Mondo said...

That's exactly it. "why are you intruding on our fashionable fairytale lifestyle little person? you're just taking the gloss off the glam ?"

It's never clear what that crazy celeb'/Team Leader/day out/
matrix is all about either

BLTP said...

I've found the Es strange for years london's only paper and yet it's written by people who actively hate the place. As for Es mag why does it come out on a friday when Santa sebag-montefiore etc have all f**ked off to the cotswolds anyway, they are all almost as smug as city girl in the Londonpaper (it is spoof isn't it).
Have gone off Alex "cheesy" James too god i'm a misery

Planet Mondo said...

ES is a total neck tenser but Londoner's Diary has me chewing my own fist with rage reading about la di da luvvies on the booze and schmooze

Five-Centres said...

Who they think this mag is aimed at is anyone's guess. Probably less than one per cent of Londoners. It's read on commuter trains back to Surbiton or St Albans, hardly bright young thing territory.

I think it's loathsome. They think it's aspirational.

Planet Mondo said...

On my (Fenchurch Flyer)commute home there's more unread copies of ES scattered around the train than free papers. Love to see what they'd back at ES's smug u like HQ