I Can’t Stand Up For Falling Down

When was the last time you fell over in public?

Mine was last Friday. But this was no slight slip that could be stopped with a steadying hand, or by dropping down into a one kneed proposal pose. No,no, no. This was a dignity free, slapstick acrobatic, both legs up in the air, bowling ball roll (sideways too).

I’d only bent down to pick up a shoe, flung from the baby buggy of the woman walking in front of me, but a medley of slippery soles, being a touch off balance with a bundle of boxes from Post Office and a robust forward thrust as I bent down to grab the shoe had me upended and rolling and tumbling like a wheel from a cartoon car crash. And, in front of a packed gallery of three - yes three - heaving bus stops. I even heard an offstage gasp from the old couple behind me.

Knowing how much entertainment gold there is in watching someone have a wobbler, how do you recover from a trauma like this? There’s only one way. Reach for your mobile phone, and role play receiving a call (or making a blame and claim call) at the precise moment you’ve recovered with a flourish and are back on steady legs. You can even lend a bit of weighty embellishment to the performance by frowning like a champ and giving the phone a few theatrical “what’s happened to the reception ?” glares until you’re safely out of sight.

'The Man Trap' - A Public Information Film on the perils of polished floors.



Freeze framed at the hand to mouth reaction moment, as any later would see Mum and daughter fold like falling trees, giggling themselves silly as Dad goes bouncing down the hall like Tigger.