When was the last time you fell over in public?
Mine was last Friday. But this was no slight slip that could be stopped with a steadying hand, or by dropping down into a one kneed proposal pose. No,no, no. This was a dignity free, slapstick acrobatic, both legs up in the air, bowling ball roll (
sideways too).
I’d only bent down to pick up a shoe, flung from the baby buggy of the woman walking in front of me, but a medley of slippery soles, being a touch off balance with a bundle of boxes from Post Office and a robust forward thrust as I bent down to grab the shoe had me upended and rolling and tumbling like a wheel from a cartoon car crash. And, in front of a packed gallery of three -
yes three - heaving bus stops. I even heard an offstage gasp from the old couple behind me.
Knowing how much entertainment gold there is in watching someone have a wobbler, how do you recover from a trauma like this? There’s only one way. Reach for your mobile phone, and role play receiving a call (or making a blame and claim call) at the precise moment you’ve recovered with a flourish and are back on steady legs. You can even lend a bit of weighty embellishment to the performance by frowning like a champ and giving the phone a few theatrical “what’s happened to the reception ?” glares until you’re safely out of sight.
'The Man Trap' - A Public Information Film on the perils of polished floors.
