Holiday On Ice

Well Bloggers and Bloggettes that's it on Channel Mondo for 2007 - the holiday handbrake is on. Pease feel free to pop over to planet mondo and fill your snow boots with the festive fun over there until the new year.

But until then, a big thank you is due to anyone who has read or commented on any of the ol' nonsense I've knocked out on this blog. And I'm sending an extra special thank you to all the those on the blog roll who were the inspiration for setting up this piece of ol' puffery up.

Over and out until 2008

PM

An Annual Event Pt 4 - 1977 -1979

The final round up of my annual report.

1977

I wasn't a regular Monster Fun reader but loved this cover- I became smitten with Krazy comic in '77 and every other comic seemed dated after Krazy.

My two almost favourite shows of '77.


But both were shot in to second place by Starsky and Hutch.

1978

I own a pair of Adidas SL 76's (Starsky's trainer of choice at the peak of the series) which still draw an occasional gasp from people of a certain age when I wear them.

I can't remember a single character from Shiver and Shake.



1979

How many great opening sequences and themes in this selection? New Avengers, Starsky and Hutch, The Sweeney and The Professionals - no one makes opening title sequences and themes of that quality any more.

Krazy comic character Cheeky became so popular he eventually got his own weekly publication. This cover features the ever desperate stooge - Walter Wurks.

An Annual Event Pt 3 - 1975 and 1976

A few more from the Christmas collection - this isn't the complete catalogue of 75/76Annuals as Whizzer and Chips, Star Trek and Superman Batman and Robin had become standard issue Christmas prezzies by this point, these are just a few of the extra goodies given.

1975
Was Funky Phantom 'Heavens to Murgatroyd' or was that Snagglepuss?
And where did the ol' granny come from? It didn't make sense then, it's mind boggling now.

I think this may have been the first Whoopee annual and featured The Bumpkin Billionares, Sweeny Todd and Frankie Stein.

Mainly reprints from 'Gold Key' comics with no Ron Ely anywhere.

My favourite Star Trek cover - you could almost touch the velvety texture of Spock's top, the silvery sparkle on his badge and the detail of the phaser. Magic. Unfortunately ended up covered with gauged lines from 'tracing' around Spock with tracing/greaseproof paper.


1976
Got the standard issue Fleetway Annuals this year - Whizzer and Chips, Shiver and Shake and Star Trek, but these are a few of the more obscure 'under the tree' additions.

Bill Bixby getting in on the 70's cop show boom. The Magician Annual had instructions for a great trick with a balloon, sellotape and a pin.
Urco and his gorilla army absolutely terrified me. It's gorrilas on horseback - with rifles. The two astronauts (Burke and Virdon)in POTA were surley the inspiration for Starsky and Hutch.

Great Neal Adams style illustration, but a couple of 'bloopers' - Batman's boots are are too short, Superman's boots have a yellow flourish and his 'S'logo colours have been reversed. (Yes I am a comics anorak - but not quite a geek)

This annual may have contained a Gerald McBoing-Boing story .

Christmas Clanger - The 'Sketch a Graph'

Strong statements with no sign of a disclaimer anywhere.



Click on the photos for close ups

Who was the twisted genius that came up with the concept of the 'Sketch a Graph'? And what committee of idiots were so impressed with the prototype and demos they put the thing into production. Fortunately I never got this box of disappointment for Christmas. Unfortunately I made the the mistake of splashing some Christmas money on one at the sort of shop selling stationary downstairs and toys upstairs, after being taken in with the adverts showing almost spectacularly accurate reproductions (in larger or smaller sizes) of maps, photos and illustrations created by this higgldy piggldy contraption - a cross between an etch a sketch, a compass and trellis fencing .

What in the name of Tony Hart was it all about? - I could have done better with my eyes closed using my left hand or if I'd tried drawing it driving over cobbles as the end result was always an absolutely hopeless shuddery muddle, not helped by the pivot only being secured by a solo drawing pin.



I found one almost MIB as they say on Ebay, for 50p in a local charity shop, but more amazingly the 'Sketch a Graph' is still going strong, you can see it here. It's been given a make over, and they seemed to have addressed the shudder issues. I could be tempted to try again.

An Annual Event Pt 2 - 1974

My 1974 haul of Annuals seems to be well represented at www.tonystrading.co.uk

The Protectors - Gerry Anderson production, 'Avenues and Alleyways'theme tune and the lovely Nyree Dawn Porter too. *sighs*


I used to be a terror for TV Detectives, but always found Columbo and Canon a bit boring. I'm sure Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O) must have been inspired by Elvis.

Superman, Batman and Robin - all thriller no filler illustration only. Luscious.


It Wasn't all action for 74 there were cartoons and comic annuals too.

I only found out about the Whizzer characters sneaking into Chips stories and vice versa, years after I stopped reading W & C ( I think Minnie's mixer - one of my faves had been phased out by the 74 annual).


The BBC always had the best cartoons.

An Annual Event Pt 1 - 1970 to 1973

Annuals and their giveaway shape when wrapped, were one of my favourite things about Christmas in the seventies. I loved the facts, stats, and picture stories - but could never be bothered with reading the mini written stories. This isn't my complete collection, just the edited highlights(read:ones I could find pictures of )

1970 - I got my first Christmas Annual in 1970 . POW, featuring Leo Baxendale's Grimly Feendish (partly based on Professor Marcus from The Ladykillers) in a haggis heist. And Spiderman battling the Meteor Man.

1971 - Tom and Jerry, I always thought it was a bit odd that these were full of speech bubbles, when T and J hardly ever spoke in the cartoons.

1972 - Disneyland had a story about Donald Duck being shipwrecked at sea which gave me nightmares for years.

1973 - My first Star Trek Annual. Kirk's top was always a bit too mustardy or green, but the ' Trek Annuals were all illustration, no long winded wordy nonsense here. Marvellous.

And the spectacular Persuaders Annual, the photo sections were tinted green - which gave a Tooty Minties vibe.


More to come soon - most of the pic's used here are from the mighty site
http://www.tonystrading.co.uk/

Wizard of Ozzy - Rock n Roll Pantomime

Instead of the same sorry ol' soap stars and reality also rans grinding through their lines in the local theatre, wouldn't Rock and Rollers make superior Panto performers? After all, they're seasoned board treaders, they specialise in working the crowds and lung busting in theatrical costumery - so should be ready made for the festive season. But who should play what ?

I’m going for 'Wizard of Oz'

Katie Melua as Dorothy
Robert Plant as the Lion (understudy - Newton Faulkner)
One of Daft Punk as the Tin Man (understudy – the other one from Daft Punk)
Thom Yorke as the Scarecrow (understudy Bob Geldof)
Amy Winehouse as the Wicked Witch
Jimmy Page as the Wizard (understudy - Dave Gilmour)

Bjork Would make a superb Snow White
Prince (Frisky) Van Morrison (Grumpy), Kelly Jones (Shouty)would be perfect for a few of the shorties

And Amy Wino and Pete Dochers could be Cinderella and Buttons in Sleeping Beauty

Its only frock and roll but I like it.
(Oh no you don't)
(Oh yes I do )
*Continues for several hours*

Weird Fantasy - Guest List

Inspired by the playlist postings here...

Five Centres
The Urban Woo
Valentine suicide

I'm going to do my own playlist posting - the difference being these are potential setlists. A couple of friends Agent Cooper and Paul Sigg's have started a new shindig and monthly tear up in the sunny Southend area called 'Weird Fantasy'( the second installment being this Friday 30th November) and have kindly allowed me to do a spot of decks pesting on the night.

These are the setlists I may be spinning - but it's almost impossible to be prescriptive, so running orders typically go on the wobble and out the window thirty seconds into the first track, but anyway this is plan.

Possible Set 1
Marsha Hunt - (Oh No! Not) The Beast Day
Jackie Mittoo - Stereo Freeze
The First Edition - I Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition Was In
The Marmalade - Mess Around
Roger & The Gypsies - Pass The Hatchet
Donovan -- Babarajagal (Love Is Hot)
Hugo Montenegro - Touch Me (The Doors)
The McCoys - Fever
Johnny Jones - Purple haze
Jackie Mittoo - Hang 'Em High
Tommy Dark - Wobble Legs
Esquerita - Rockin' the Joint
The Isley Brothers - Get Into Something
Amanda Shankar - Jumpin' Jack Flash
The Ikettes -Don't Feel Sorry For Me
Booker T & The MGs - Jelly Bread
Sammy Davis Jr - You Can Count On Me
Velvet Underground - Guess I'm Falling In Love
The Sonics - Shot Down

Possible Set 2
Albert Collins - Cookin' Catfish
The Strangers - Mary Mary
Merry Clayton - Gimme Shelter
Thelma Houston - Jumping Jack Flash
Patti Drew -- Fever
Chubby Checker - Back In the USSR
Five By Five - Fire
The Bobby Fuller Four - Magic Touch
The Younghearts - A Little Togetherness
The Sonics - Psycho
The Happy Cats - These Boots Were Made For Walkin'
Mae West - Great Balls of Fire
Tony Newman - Let The Good Times Roll
Peggy Lee- Dock Of The Bay
Solomon Burke - Maggie's Farm
Wilson Pickett - Born To Be Wild
Tom Jones - Keep On Runnin'

I'll try and do an update of what gets into the final countdown next week, and if anyone does happen to be passing through the Leigh on Sea area this Friday, why not pop along to raise a glass and shake a leg. Or perhaps check out some of my earlier mixes which feature several tracks from both selections.

Tunes From The Crypt


Frighty Night Is Music Night

Where Are They Now? Pt 1 - Park keepers

"I don't care who you are - get off the grass!!...."

In an ongoing series documenting the disappeared - things that were everyday sights or common occurrences that seem to vanished for no obvious reason.

I'm going to start with Park Keepers.
They may still be around, and I'm just looking for the wrong thing - expecting to see a sour, dour middle aged military type (possibly with a moustache) purple faced and frowning around the grounds. But no, there's obviously Groundsmen (green polo shirts, badged and branded with the local council's snappy logo) shuddering around the boundaries on fun size tractors, who seem to be either straight from a Gillette ad' or dreadlocked friends of 'Swampy' - but no obvious leader of the pack.

There were two 'Parkies' at our local park Geoff (Mr Nice)who looked like Oscar Goldman and would let you sit in the office on cold days, and Bill (Mr Nasty) who would get on the 999 line every time the witches hat was liberated from it's pole, if someone had been spotted on the shed roof, cricket green or had 'French Bangers'

Do these sort of jobs still exist? - It makes perfect sense that there should still be a requirement for Park Keepers but I'm convinced I haven't spotted one in years. I heard recently about a local government scam called 'tarmacing' where at the end of the financial year roads are tarmaced to use up any spare left in the budgets, allowing for the same budget to be given for the following year. I hope 'Parkies' haven't been victims of 'tarmacing' and cutbacks.

Start Making Sense Pt 1 - Chinstrap Beards

What in the name of Dr Mop are chinstrap beards all about?

Fair enough if you're a Quaker, Amish or just enjoy dressing like Windy Miller, but anyone else - why?? Even morris dancers don't go gadding around in their ribbons, bows and pig's bladder balloons away from the village green/pub car park. I can understand the solid earthiness of a full beard, even the neatly clipped precision of a 'tache. But chinstraps - why??And the haircut of choice that the chin strapped chap seems favour with his beardy based version of a comb over is usually

A - geometric pudding bowl fringe
B - bald/shaven

Check out the hyperkinetic ball of sexual tension that is Jospeh here,this is all genuine with no tweakage (apart from the italics)


"I grew my beard because I got bored with being the clean cut look and figured it would be interesting -- plus when some of the women at work complained too much,

what did he do?

"I knew I was onto something- they may deny it, but we all know they love it. ;)"

Not sure I like the no means yes tone there J

"Can't have a mustache though, because I am a tuba player, The downside is that it is freaking hot in summer - "

Aaaaaahh - so that'll be why you're naked in a photo booth then?

"the upside is that I spend winters in Finland, where it works great at keeping the wind off my cheeks. :) "

Upside for who - your Floridian neighbours, the girls at work - surely not the good people of Finland who get Oddbod flying in for a full winters worth of tooting on his tuba.?

So there you go forget Facebook, Bebo and other social networking sites Beards.org is where the hot action is frying tonight.

Bad Book Club Pt 1 -A Londoner's Diary

The London paper the Evening Standard has a free magazine every Friday 'ES'.

Typically the cover splash features ‘next big things’ (actors and/or models) that I've never heard of and never seem to go anywhere. Inside it's a medley of serious faced suity types and their shiny new projects, aristocratic inheritance scandals about high society swizzery and who ended up with all Lord Toffingham’s lolly. Oh, and a designer. But the travel pages are great.

However, the thing that really makes me grind my teeth to dental powder is one full page of full on smuggery bringing light to the lives of lowly folk - called

‘A Londoner's Diary’

It’s usually written by the sort of quack head Notting Hill ninny you’d dread being sat next to anywhere (apart from when it’s Alex James). In which the guest gabbler of the week swishes through a list of society lunches, showbiz launches, 'charidee'work and country weekends throwing celebrity names around like someone feeding handfuls of corn to the feral pigeons

The political diarists are even more deeply dire, full of quizzical eyes, knowing nods and Westminster(yawns)yarns that turn you grey faced, glazed and bored to the very core.

It’s these sort of metro trendies and droning minnies that give southerners a bad name. You could argue - why read it, if its so bad? But that's the thing - it is so bad! I have to check in to see if it’s still maintaining it's quota of queasy cheese.

I don't care who’s appearing this week (apart from if it's Alex James) they can take their dreary diary and smugger off.

My Superhero Personality Quiz

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 75% Superman 65% Iron Man 65% Robin 60% The Flash 60% Hulk 55% Catwoman 50% Supergirl 50% Spider-Man 35% Wonder Woman 25% Batman 25%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Retromanic Pt 5 - Kooks

The final part of my retromanic week and a few crackers

Unlikely celebs in some great ad's

Gary Numan & Tubeway Army - Lee Cooper


Lulu - Happies Shoes


Spike Milligan - Mini


Captain Scarlet/Thunderbirds - Lyons Maid

Retromaniac Pt 4 - The Kids In America

I'm convinced there must have been a few 'stoners' and 'heads' working on children's TV in the U.S.

Sesame Street - Jazz Spies number 10



Sesame Street - Baker number 5


And they even got Stevie Wonder to tear it up on Sesame Street.

But the Banana Splits knew how to shake a leg as well, believe it or not this Saturday morning soul stomper was written by Barry White.
You can read all aboout it here


And by special request Danger Island - for Axe Victim
uh oh…chongo - wasn't that how it used to go?


They always had the coolest gear in America, which I never sent off for (I didn't know what to do when they asked for a 'Zip Code')

Retromaniac Pt 3 - The Kids Are Alright

This would have been a typical day in the 70's for me - compressed into under 4 minutes.

Breakfast.


Mid morning telly.


Lunchtime Treats
They only seemed to sell Cresta at the Baker's round our way.


Textbook sarnie box filler (keep an eye out for the Cor!Comic bus)


After school action


What's for tea?


We used to have a 'Corona man' selling bottles from a lorry!

Retromaniac Pt 2 - Champagne Supernova

After yesterdays sip's and smoke's what were the la de da cosmpolitan crowd and champagne set indulging in? High society Cig's and choco's of course....

Does anyone use the phrase 'Tobaconnist' anymore?

John Player Special



Milk Tray

Retromaniac Pt 1 - Cigarettes and Alcohol

Following on from Fridays funky theme - Robins Nest, and the TV related threads over on two tip top blogs Davy H - here and Sky Clearbrook - here, I'm on a bit of retro TV buzz, not in a "wasn't it all a bit wacky let's snear and snide behind our hands " - clip show way, but just fancy digging around in the dusty loft of film and TV treats that is Youtube.



Asteroids


Rizla


Double Diamond

Theme Team - Robin's Nest

Tying in with Funky Friday's fizz fest on Planet Mondo

I thought I'd post up his bit of bistro based Funk. No one writes decent theme tunes any more. Robin's Nest (or Mr Robin Snest as the gag went in the first episode)isn't one of the greatest but it's SO groovy - and the sort of riff Jamiroquai's been riding for years. There's also a touch of Ian Dury and The Blockheads 'what a waste' about it

Trilogy Of Terror - Part 3

Trilogy of Terror – 1975

Karen Blacks three part anthology film 'Trilogy of Terror' is only memorable because of the third and final episode - with THAT possessed tribal fetish! It’s a once seen never forgotten scene. As a ten year old I’d arrived back home late at night from somewhere cosy with the parents and we ended up catching the complete last chapter on the telly. It was nightmares and lights on for a week after that.

'Trilogy' doesn't get repeated that often, and when I finally tracked it down on DVD (thanks to an unofficial copy via Ebay), it was just as ferocious as I remembered and probably more effective for being a TV movie with the sleepy beige ambience of almost every TV show made during the seventies - until that raggy raging doll gets reanimated and starts snapping and stabbing.




The Cramps - The Way I Walk live at Napa Mental Hospital

The Cramps continue the theme of early 80s rocking wraiths. This clip dates from the Bryan Gregory period - the skeletal 'skunk striped' guitarist who collected soil from various cemetery's. This is the Lords of Psychobilly doing their voodoo on video live at the Napa State Mental Hospital. I've seen the whole of this gig and it's thirty minutes of non stop neck tightening tension.




Returning us to the scene of the crime and the first clip it's;

David Bowie - Beauty and the Beast

Trilogy of Terror - Part 2

Children of the Stones - 1977

Well, I had been planning to use the trailer for Tales From The Crypt which has just been released as a double DVD with Vault Of Terror. TFTC is an Amicus Productions compendium of the macabre, featuring Joan Collins and the psycho in a Santa suit, the Monkeys Paw rework and motorcycle skeletons but some ol' youtube spoilsport’s pulled it.

So in a last minute bit of stealthy switchcraft it’s Childen of the Stones.
I wasn't much of a childrens ITV watcher growing up in the 70s, but two shows from the dark side seriously spooked me for years, and are still whispered about by anyone who stumbled across them. Escape Into Night - two children in a desolate ‘dream’ house surrounded by moving stones.
And Childen of the Stones - father and son archaeology in the worst of west country villages. As well as being a genuinely great piece of tea time drama, back then I thought the intro music was the most was terrifying scream theme ever composed and would see how long I could last with lights out (even the HTV ident music has an uncomfortable lumpy bubble bounce about it). I recently hired COTS and thought the theme tune couldn't really have been that creepy could it? Turn down the lights, turn up the sound and try it for 'sighs'.




The Damned - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

The Damned seemed to be eternally doomed to be tarred with the Goth brush or as jokers in the Punk pack, both of which are a total disservice to the legacy of The damned. This clip may not disprove either of these theories but is still worth firing up. Dr Jekyll is ‘Punk’ in paisley shirts and pre dates the 80’s psychedelic revival by at least three years. The studio version even has a trumpet an’ everything on it. Taken from the 1980 Black Album, a double disc set with a seventeen minute masterpiece where Punk goes Prog called ‘Curtain Call’



Another top tune from the Black Album and a BBC session stormer( this is possibly even better than the album version).

The Damned - Wait For The Blackout (BBC Session)

Trilogy of Terror - Part 1

Nosferatu - Werner Herzog - 1979

I only saw Nosferatu for the first time a few months ago and was completely blown away by it. Klaus Kinksi gives a bone chilling performance as the shadowy hands folded Count. You can almost feel the temperature drop when he slithers into shot. It’s packed with character, colour and texture but Herzog leaves enough room for the icy tension and dark dynamics to breathe. As close as you'll get to Bram Stokers genuinely creepy Dracula novel (although criminally - the terrifying Bloofer Lady has been left out of the film )



Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi's Dead

The sound track to almost every night out in the early 80's as Positive Punk slowly evolved into Goth. Bauhaus built a frankenstein song using spare parts from Bowie, Cult Films, and dark dub reggae on this anthem for the undead.



And another tune big on the scene at the same time.
Red Lipstique - Drac's Back

Mellow Mondo - Bobbie Gentry - Fancy

Russell Brand you've been rumbled - the pile 'em high hair, the industrial strength eyeliner, and the snug fit suit. Is it me or does this sound like something by Dusty over on Planet Mondo?



You really can't beat DIY dance routines (they're even better with the sound off)

Can't Be Arsed Artwork

I came across Barbra Streisand's Butterfly album recently, my excuse is - she covers Bowie's Life On Mars on it (yes, really). But could this be the laziest or most literal album artwork ever?




It's some butter. With a fly on it.
What in the name of Storm Thorgerson is going on with this unhygienic howler? It's really not the best way for Barbra to put the goods on the barrow. (grease, germs and something eating it's own sick)

Neil Young's Are You Passionate? has a touch of the lazy loafer about it, as well as being shoulder cringingly corny (not even the local camera club could click off this cracker barrel of cheese)



But ol’ 'helium honk' is a repeat offender for Friday afternoon knock off's - Living With War and Re-ac-tor, are from the bottom of the lazy bones barrels and would have Pete Saville chewing his own desk with rage.

Radio One's Mid Life Crisis

Having just turned 40, Radio 1 seems to be going through a grey ponytail and leather trousers period. It comes across as desperately needy for approval, self validation and determined to avoid showing any signs of middle aged maturity

But the station that was the once ‘Nation's Favourite' is fighting a losing battle. The target audience it’s trying to tap into have disparate distractions and other interests - internet radio, Youtube, Facebook, iPods, iTunes, mobile phones and MSN.

Add to this that singles sales are in free fall, the charts are a free for all and Top of The Pops is dead. The wheels are coming off the wagon and the stations days must be numbered.

By investing almost exclusively in a heavily formatted magpie eye view of music where only the new and shiny is atractive Radio One is constantly playing catch-up and doing itself and it’s listeners a massive disservice.

Heavily formatted shows playing short shelf life sugar rush Pop, Rock and Urban isn't a long term solution to the problem. Trying to be the Pied Piper of Pop teasing rat's back to the sinking flag ship isn't working.

One thing that seems forhead smackingly obvious to me is - limit your appeal and you limit your audience.

The sort of target audience Radio 1 is so keen to keep, are just as interested in old music as new music. They’ve grown up being groomed on their parents record collections. During a recent episode of 'University Challenge', a team of 18-20 year olds were played tunes by the Pistols, Jam, Clash and Damned and managed to name them all correctly.

So how many of the demographic they're desperate for are actually next door at radio 2? And getting new dogs to perform old tricks (as on the recent Established 1967 CD) gives the impression of someone knowingly past their prime announcing 'I was a bit of a looker when I was younger you know'


Radio 1 may like to think of itself as carrying on in the spirit and the tradition of John Peel (who couldn't have been less formatted and recognised the value of all music not just new music), but in reality it’s actually more of a 'Saxondale'






Recommend reading is Simon Garfield's The Nations Favourite
Written in the eye of the hurricane and during the media meltdown when Radio 1 was undergoing a self inflicted shake up and shoo’ing away it’s audience.

And also check out Radio Rewind for a look back at Radio One at the height of it’s pop picking powers

Autumn Almanac Pt. 2 – with an Autumnal Easter Egg

Part 1 of Autumn Almanac is available over on Planet Mondo

Part 2 has two youtube clips, 2 MP3 treats
and 1 hidden nugget (can you find it?)

I also recommend digging out Dad’s Army 'All is Safely Gathered In' - in which Godfrey requests leave to help an old sweetheart with the harvest, and Mainwaring offers the services of the platoon which ends up in a drunken Thanksgiving.

The Small Faces - The Autumn Stone.
As drifty dreamy as bonfire smoke



The Autumn Stone - MP3




Neil Young - Harvest Moon,
‘helium honk’s harvest tune – great one for guitar beginners to learn .



Harvest Moon - MP3




And by request
Ronnie Lane - The Poacher


Ronnie Lane - The Poacher (unreleased)

Tantrum TV

There’s something wrong with my Television. Every time I turn it on there’s screamers on the screen.

Idiots, nitwits and know nothings invading my space. The sort of people I’d emigrate to avoid are being beamed into my house in digital definition and surround sound. Seven nights a week on all channels.

At a time when viewing figures have slumped, which empty headed executive thought Punch and Judy programming would get bum's back on seats?

Yes, that’s it - exactly what we fancy watching to wind down. Shouty grief girls and sweary ASBO blokes stomping about, 'effing and jeffing' as the soon as the clock strikes nine. Full grown adults having full blown teenage scream ups and being told how to cook, clean and dress themselves. Parents unable to control their children are being sent to the naughty step. It's either that or fame craving desperadoes and ex celeb’s in meltdown.

I don't know who looks more tragic in these TV disaster movie? The celeb’s desperate to walk the plank or programmers rubbing raw the bottom of the barrels.

The Big brother/I'm A Celeb/One Flew Over The Cuckoos nest format is an experiment that can only work once. It’s not repeat viewing. Second time around it’s all festival freaks gurning for the camera and playing to the gallery . Dumbo's and bimbo's that make Jade Goody look like Germaine Geer - watching walk out's, storm offs and showdowns over shopping lists is about as entertaining as watching germs under a microscope

Who needs tantrum TV. Not Me.
No, I won’t press the red button for more information thanks. I’ve seen all I need to know. I’ll press the off button and go and do something less boring instead.

It wasn't that long ago people were moaning about repeats clogging up the schedules like cholesterol. I’d welcome them back, or the test card, pages from Ceefax. Anything!

It wasn't always this awful. The truth is out there - it’s called YouTube

And It's Goodnight From Him - Ronnie Hazlehurst

So farewell then Ronnie Hazelhurst.

'Write the theme tune, write another theme tune' that was your catchphrase.

He may not have had the melancholy melodies of John Barry or the funky punch of Keith Mansfield and Alan Hawkshaw, but Ronnie H was a master of the light entertainment lilt and wrote the soundtrack to seventies Saturday night TV.

Politely modern, neat clean lines and economical arrangements, sort of G Plan furniture for TV themes.

My recommended Ronnie riffs are;

The Two Ronnies - big, brassy and sets the scene for something special.

Are You Being Served - Pink Floyd must’ve plundered this for Money.

Reginald Perrin - the essence of the Hazlehurst/BBC theme team.

You probably knew the Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em theme is the letters of the title played in Morse code on a piccolo.

(S) dot dot dot (O) dash dash dash………

But did you know there’s a search for the lost Ronnie Chord ?

Why not dig out, dust off and spin up your TV theme tune albums and raise a glass to Ronnie Hazlehurst?

Or treat yourself with these downloads;

The AYBS theme

AYBS Sir? A musical skit with John ‘inside leg’ Inman

And this sounds like an absolute hidden winner;

Exelby - it's described as Burt Bacharach meets Bob Dylan meets Ronnie Hazelhurst.

Hello............Is It Me You're Looking For?

Hello Bloggers and Bloggettes, you’ve tuned into Channel Mondo the flip side of Planet Mondo

Let me clarify

Planet Mondo
is all about fizz, puffery and pop culture bytes that get the thumbs up.

Channel Mondo is about grumbles, mumbles and modern life rubbish that get the thumbs down.

Any ol' stodge, stinkers or nonsense that turn me into a bit of a crosspatch, put my needles in the red, or manages to work me in to a right ol' steaming tizz’ gets on the blog.

And at the moment there seems to be more stodgy stuff than ever to be blogging on about. Some of the ideas I've got lined up include:

Has The World Gone Inane? - too much bandwith and not enough to fill it.

Bad Book Club - this could be anything from books to magazines that are rotten reads.

The Three Wise Men Of Rock - a 3 part posting.

But it's not all bad news - I'll also be including:

Reason's To Be Cheerful - people, places or any ol' thing that's put a spring in my step

Mellow Mondo - soothing tunes and youtube treats

COMING THIS MONDAY - CHANNEL MONDO

Channel Mondo will be up and running shortly, some of the ideas "in development" are;

Has The World Gone Inane?
Bad Book Club - A rotten Readers Digest
Mellow Mondo - Tunes that help you breeze more easily




In the meantime why not pop on over to Planet Mondo and see what's new?